As the Summer months wind down and begin to coalesce into a florid, romanticized blur, all I can evoke is trepidation. For the first time in a while, I am no longer the co-editor of this publication nor a University of Toronto student; suspended in an anachronistic flux, desperately grasping at fickle straws seeking purpose and extra-academic validation. The once shimmery allures of warmer temperatures, albeit after an uncharacteristically timid winter, have lost their lustre as oppressive heat waves and unforeseeable weather disasters quashed any coming-of-age post-grad momentum. As I yearned to venture the bounds of myself and, for once, Toronto, I simultaneously contemplated the merits of a premature heat death. 

With life-altering deadlines becoming ever-prevalent by the day, Summer has been a detrimental accelerant - an engulfing humidity-maligned malaise. A contradictory daze that overrides the instinctual desire to consume the Summery-now with pessimistic glances at what was and what could’ve been. Though I am indeed prone to fits of seasonal depression - evidenced by my overdramatic haranguing of January - this Summer demarcates an unprecedented amount of change that I fear is ontologically unfeasible.   

On the precipice of combusting into an ironically destitute supernova, this playlist contrasts with Summer’s whimsy, wallowing in a dissociative state and languidly staring at the world passing by. As friends move onto bigger, greater things, I decay, repeating the same few tunes that artificially recall a longing for comfort and sentimentality. 

Though my entire spiel would indicate some proclivity to older songs, ironically enough, the playlist’s opening track, 'Echo' by Clairo - a standout from the recently released Charm - conjured the desire to explore these bygone feelings. The track radiates an unfettered, cozy warmth; the fuzzy analog synth line and placid yet, intimate guitar strums underpin a breathy, lingering vocal performance that sparsely prances in and out of the generous runtime. While the warm tones and homely drums undoubtedly derive some inspiration from progenitors of ‘90s psychedelia - notably, Broadcast - Claire and producer Leon Michel’s contemporary recontextualization of the sound embodies this vast aimlessness, a solace in meandering.

Despite the track's directionless roaming, there remains a certain optimism radiating 'Echo' - an unspoken, persistent longing only stifled by the fear of uncertainty. However, by the playlist's midpoint tracks like “devil on my shoulder” by Arkansas-based meme page admin and lofi-rock artist Chloe Cherrie, attempt to quash this optimism, embodying the motivation-sapping monotony of the Summer heat. Dejected and washed-out sounds reimagine heat beyond pleasure; wispy, reverb-bathed vocals - a common denominator amongst many tracks - are shadowed by droningly rustic instrumentation that stuns with a deceptively nostalgic trance. As I begin to clock the mechanically precise loops that constitute “devil on my shoulder,” I feel as though I’ve been listening to it for days on end - lost in a mere duplication of Summer’s over-buoyant allure.  

While I would love to write an intricately detailed description for all 40-something songs, I fear my senses continue to numb under Summer’s unbearable burden - i.e., let’s wrap this up. Return to Form offers an alternative reprieve to mini-fans and sunscreen; this playlist resides at home, rotting away while romanticizing the sun’s scorching touch. It cannot help its reclusiveness, but it doesn’t necessarily find an issue with it either. Within the transitionary phase out of post-secondary but before true adulthood, I have found myself clinging to any warm resonance willing to hold me. Though I have contemplated my complacency and precariousness to an almost counterintuitive degree, these songs have become my refuge in the disorienting flux of Summer - an ambivalent haven that I roam in the vulnerable twilight of my 20s.